Special Recipe! Blackstock's (Un)Texan Chili

This week for Grand Prix Gastronomy, we're doing something a little different.

What's this! A GPG Substack post on a Monday?

Mondays are normally my “link to a recipe I found online” days, but this week, we're doing something a little different. I'm writing the recipe!

For the United States Grand Prix in Austin, I've decided to commit the greatest of unholy sins against Texas’ state food, chili. See, here in Texas, chili is an all-meat affair. You don't add beans, and you sure as hell don't add any vegetables. But I've never vibed with that preparation. I want my food to have flavor, dammit! I want it to have layers!

So instead of a traditional Texas chili recipe (though I do have a good one here if you want to go authentic), I'm writing my own recipe. Chili is one of those dishes that certainly has its regional preparations, but it's also an infinitely customizable dish that people take a lot of pride in creating. I know a lot of folks who have a “secret” chili recipe that they've been crafting for years — and I have mine, too! I'll talk more about it in Wednesday's Substack (spoiler: it's a blend of Texas, Terlingua, and Tim Hortons chili recipes); until then, here's a very rough recipe for what I'm calling Blackstock's (Un)Texan Chili.

THIS MF HAS BEANSSSSSSSSS

Blackstock's (Un)Texan Chili

Chili Spice Blend Ingredients:

• 3.5 tbsp chili powder

• 1 tbsp brown sugar

• 1 tbsp ground cumin

• 1 tbsp smoked paprika

• 1 tsp dried oregano

• .5 tsp cayenne pepper

• .5 tsp black pepper

• .5 tsp kosher salt

• A lil turmeric if you're feeling fun

Chili Ingredients:

• 2 lbs ground beef

• 1 can of beans, preferably dark red kidney beans or black beans, drained and rinsed

• 1 large onion, diced

• 3+ cloves garlic, minced

• 1 green bell pepper, diced

• 1 red bell pepper, diced

• 1 jalapeño pepper, seeded and diced

• Roughly 8 oz mushrooms

• 1 can (8-10 oz) tomato sauce

• 1 can (28 oz) diced tomatoes, OR 2 lbs fresh tomatoes, diced

• A lil dash of Worcestershire sauce

• 1 tbsp olive oil, or more

Suggested Toppings / Add-Ins:

• Sour cream

• Cheddar cheese

• Tortilla chips

• Corn kernels

Preparation:

1. Stir together all your chili spice blend ingredients in a bowl.

2. Prep your veggies, then sautée your onions in olive oil over a medium heat until just browned. Do this in a pot big enough for simmerin’. Then add in your beef. Season with about a third of your spice blend, cooking until the beef is no longer pink.

3. Then, add in your veggies and cook for a few more minutes. Just get ‘em soft and warm. Throw in some more chili spice too, just for the hell of it.

4. Gently mix in the beans, mushrooms, tomato soup, and tomatoes, seasoning everything up with what's left of the spice blend. Make sure all the ingredients are nicely coated. Then throw in some Worcestershire sauce and stir again.

5. Then, cover the pot and let that bad boy simmer for about an hour, stirring every now and then.

6. Make sure you taste as you go along: the cool part about chili is that you can just throw in some random shit based on your own preferences. If it needs to be sweeter, saltier, spicier, thicker, thinner, or juicier, you can adjust with different seasonings as you see fit.

7. When you've let the chili simmer for at least an hour, remove the lid and let it simmer some more, until it has reached your desired level of thickness.

8. Now add your final touches as you serve. I am the kind of degenerate who needs frozen corn added to everything, so I will be adding frozen corn. You can also top with shredded cheddar cheese, sour cream, tortilla chips (hint: chili lime flavored tortilla chips absolutely frickin’ rip for this), you name it. The world is your oyster. Let the chili speak to you and assemble it as desired.

9. (You may also serve your chili on top of a hot dog, or on some noodles or rice. I really don't care. Live your best life.)

Again, this isn't authentic Texas chili. This is my chili, which I am calling Texan because I am a resident of Texas. If it does not vibe with you, then that's OK! But like not to be biased or anything but this recipe rips and you should make it just once.